tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
