I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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