she was so not down for the gang bang
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What a dumb baby whore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
