He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
