Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
