Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
