I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
vagina is talking i cant
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize