According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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