Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
