Nicole vs. Life
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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