He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
