Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
