the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
