where am i from again
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im six kinds of drunk right now
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
