Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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