Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
