dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
