I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just google imaged poop.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
