we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
