I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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