please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
