Whod you bang
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Drunk is a universal language darling
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
