I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
