So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
