hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
