So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
