Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just took my morning after pill in the library
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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