oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
