I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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