he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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