I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
