A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
