i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My ass is underappreciated
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
