is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize