Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Still dying that you shit outside
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
