Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
