She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
