Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
