guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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