am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
