My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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