I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize