I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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