idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
