Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
