This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
