After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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