Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
