is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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