I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
